My Story

It was our second year homeschooling, and I was still using a classroom set-up (a nod to my previous life as an elementary school teacher). I was trying to get the girls finished with the core part of their day, but my five-year-old kept getting up and down from the little table she and her seven-year old sister shared. Finally, as she popped out of her chair AGAIN to go and get a drink of water, I almost shouted at her: “WHY do you think you can just get up and leave the room whenever you want to?!” She stopped, stared at me, then burst into tears as she replied, “Because it’s HOME!!!”

My heart broke as I realized how hurt she must feel as I, her mother, the one she should be able to run to to receive love, kindness, and gentleness, was the one completely annoyed at her just for doing something that comes naturally. It was I who needed an attitude change.

Though I didn’t at once become the perfect homeschool mom (actually, that NEVER happened), that day, I resolved to tone down my overly-strict, classroom-focused expectations and trust the process. We would finish the day, the week, the month, the homeschool year, successfully–but it didn’t mean every month, week, or even day would look the same. 

Homeschool Looks Different

Homeschool is NOT like school. Oh, there are some similarities… we study the required subjects, our days revolve around school, we take breaks. But studying at home should be more casual, comfortable, and loosely structured. You don’t need a perfectly-timed schedule at home because you don’t have a class of twenty students to manage. You don’t have the same interruptions or responsibilities as a classroom teacher. The students are YOUR children, and you already know them. The following steps may help you relax and be a calmer, more pleasant mother and leader of the little kingdom that is your homeschool:

Simple Steps to Reduce Homeschool Stress

1. Create a loose structure– one that is more routine-focused than timed-schedule focused. As much as you can, do things in the same order each day, but don’t get stressed about the exact times. 
2. Clean up breakfast and straighten the house before you start the school day. Involve your children in these chores… even toddlers can help with simple chores. Starting the day with a more organized space creates a more peaceful environment.
3. Embrace distractions as a part of your day. Leave wiggle room in your schedule so you have time to make up activities or subjects that were skipped due to interruptions. 
4. If something isn’t going right or working smoothly, find out why and work to help that child. In my case, my five-year-old needed shorter focused times and more breaks.
5. Go to a mom’s group, or invite another homeschooling friend and her kids to the park with you and yours. You can chat while the children play. Everyone can benefit from the perspective of someone else going through the same thing. It’s nice to know you’re not alone!
6. What is your reason for homeschooling? Whatever it is, write your “why” down and put it where you can see it every day. Refrigerator, bulletin board, post-it note. Reminding yourself why you’re doing something can help you stick with it for the long haul.

Homeschool is different from regular school in many ways. That’s a good thing! A calm, loosely-structured routine will benefit you AND your children. You’ve got this, one step at a time.

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How to Stay Close to Young Grandchildren Who Live Far Away

Connecting with grandchildren who live far away

Here are some things I do to stay connected with my sweet little ones as best as I can:

• Video chats are a great way of staying connected. I’ve played puppets with the little ones, or sang songs, or showed them the cat or other things they would find interesting. Some children enjoy video chat more than others. Another grandma I know, with the parent’s agreement, set up a weekly time when she would call to talk. Don’t be sad if the child doesn’t want to talk or be on camera. That’s a very normal feeling for a child. Just be positive, and say, “That’s ok, you don’t have to talk.”

• Sometimes just leaving a video message or voice message for the child is a good way to connect. This gives the parent the ability to play the message when it fits with their schedule. You don’t get any feedback, but the child has a connection with you through the message.
• One of the best things I’ve done that has worked well is making a private social media page where I can read picture books to the children. My daughters cast it onto the tv, and the kids sit and watch me or Gramps read them stories.

• Sometimes I write letters to the grandkids. Pinterest has so many ideas for handmade cards any child would love. The kids enjoy getting any kind of mail. Now apparently my little 3 year old granddaughter thinks all packages are from Nan. I may have sent one too many surprises in the mail!
• Think of little traditions that you always do when you are together or far apart. They will come to expect and look for these. My grandchildren love to watch a movie and eat a tootsie pop on Nan’s bed. No visit would be complete without this tradition. To build on that connection, when we are apart I always include a tootsie pop if I send them a box. We also send each grandchild a fun Christmas card early in December. Some other ideas may be: dressing up in whatever their birthday party theme is and making a video singing Happy Birthday, or sending a photo text or an actual photo of things you see in nature that they might enjoy. I imagine them as grown-ups one day remembering those traditions.

• When we take a family vacation together, I gather photos from everyone and create a simple photo album of the pictures to send to all the families. The children enjoy looking back and remembering the fun we had. Online photo books are wonderful too, and there is often a coupon or discount. The grandkids still get them out and remember. They miss you more than you realize.
• In writing letters to the younger grandchildren, I find that I quickly run out of interesting things to say! So instead, I sometimes write a made-up picture book type story, very simple with hand drawn pictures, to send to the grandkids. They seem to enjoy receiving those.

• Some years I subscribe to magazines for each of the grandkids. The ones I’ve sent are Ranger Rick Zoo Books, Baby Bug, and Cricket. My favorite one to recommend, and that I will continue to send throughout the school years is God’s World Magazine. They have magazines appropriate for each age group, and the stories are interesting to children.

It is not easy to live far apart from family, and especially when that includes our perfect and adorable grandchildren! If you have grandchildren far away, I’m sure you’re already planning your next trip to visit them, but until then, with some thought and dedication, you can connect with your far away darlings and make memories in many ways. I hope that if anyone else has fun ideas, that you share them
with us in the comments. — Sara

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