My Story

It was our second year homeschooling, and I was still using a classroom set-up (a nod to my previous life as an elementary school teacher). I was trying to get the girls finished with the core part of their day, but my five-year-old kept getting up and down from the little table she and her seven-year old sister shared. Finally, as she popped out of her chair AGAIN to go and get a drink of water, I almost shouted at her: “WHY do you think you can just get up and leave the room whenever you want to?!” She stopped, stared at me, then burst into tears as she replied, “Because it’s HOME!!!”

My heart broke as I realized how hurt she must feel as I, her mother, the one she should be able to run to to receive love, kindness, and gentleness, was the one completely annoyed at her just for doing something that comes naturally. It was I who needed an attitude change.

Though I didn’t at once become the perfect homeschool mom (actually, that NEVER happened), that day, I resolved to tone down my overly-strict, classroom-focused expectations and trust the process. We would finish the day, the week, the month, the homeschool year, successfully–but it didn’t mean every month, week, or even day would look the same. 

Homeschool Looks Different

Homeschool is NOT like school. Oh, there are some similarities… we study the required subjects, our days revolve around school, we take breaks. But studying at home should be more casual, comfortable, and loosely structured. You don’t need a perfectly-timed schedule at home because you don’t have a class of twenty students to manage. You don’t have the same interruptions or responsibilities as a classroom teacher. The students are YOUR children, and you already know them. The following steps may help you relax and be a calmer, more pleasant mother and leader of the little kingdom that is your homeschool:

Simple Steps to Reduce Homeschool Stress

1. Create a loose structure– one that is more routine-focused than timed-schedule focused. As much as you can, do things in the same order each day, but don’t get stressed about the exact times. 
2. Clean up breakfast and straighten the house before you start the school day. Involve your children in these chores… even toddlers can help with simple chores. Starting the day with a more organized space creates a more peaceful environment.
3. Embrace distractions as a part of your day. Leave wiggle room in your schedule so you have time to make up activities or subjects that were skipped due to interruptions. 
4. If something isn’t going right or working smoothly, find out why and work to help that child. In my case, my five-year-old needed shorter focused times and more breaks.
5. Go to a mom’s group, or invite another homeschooling friend and her kids to the park with you and yours. You can chat while the children play. Everyone can benefit from the perspective of someone else going through the same thing. It’s nice to know you’re not alone!
6. What is your reason for homeschooling? Whatever it is, write your “why” down and put it where you can see it every day. Refrigerator, bulletin board, post-it note. Reminding yourself why you’re doing something can help you stick with it for the long haul.

Homeschool is different from regular school in many ways. That’s a good thing! A calm, loosely-structured routine will benefit you AND your children. You’ve got this, one step at a time.

The post Steps for Reducing Homeschool Stress appeared first on Sweet Cottage Life.

1. You don’t have to have it all together to start.

“…the hardest part of any job is getting started.” — Mary Kay Ash

You do not need a degree in education, an expensive curriculum, or even a co-op membership to start homeschooling. What you do need is some focused time to prepare and a heart willing to give up a good part of each day. It sounds overwhelming, as any new task does. But it also gets easier, as things do when you repeat them over and over.

I recommend you research the homeschooling laws in your state, and follow them. Then just start homeschooling!

2. Each child has a different learning style and different needs.

When I started homeschooling, I thought the rigid, traditional curriculum I was using was good for each and every child. What I didn’t realize was that every child has a different learning style and needs. One of mine was definitely more “out of the box.” She needed more focused time outside of textbooks, interacting with the world and listening to stories or “living books.” Reading with Mama and playing outside, exploring the wonders of nature. I knew nothing of this type of learning, called the Charlotte Mason method, until much later. When I learned of it, I implemented as many principles as possible. (My children were then in high school and middle school.) But oh, how I wish I had started with that method when my children were small! My middle child especially would have enjoyed school so much more. Take some time to evaluate each child’s needs. This happens over time as you practice learning together.

3. Homeschooling is not regular school at home.

This is a common misconception. In a crisis situation, doing regular school lessons at home may be necessary, but this is not what I mean when I say the word “homeschooling.” The good news is that this frees the homeschool parent! You don’t have to create a classroom environment in your home. (I did this at first!) You are educating your children in a way that works for and is comfortable for your family. (More on that later.)

4. You don’t have to stick to a rigid schedule.

Again, freedom. You are not bound to a minute-by-minute schedule, simply because you don’t need to be. You are not sharing restrooms, playground, and lunchroom with 12 other classes. Flexibility reigns in homeschooling! Up late one night? Start later in the morning. Dentist appointments? Bring the books into the waiting room. Have teenagers who like to sleep in or a Dad who works during the day but wants to help with homeschooling? Try night classes!

5. It’s ok if some days you don’t accomplish all your goals.

As a recovering perfectionist, I know these days can be hard. You feel like you’re falling behind, or worse- failing. You’re not.

Some days, your children work hard and have great attitudes. All the assignments get finished and they do their chores without being asked. The house (somehow) stays clean and you still have energy at 4:00.

I think I had maybe one of those days every other year at the most in my seventeen years homeschooling.

The homeschool life is a marathon, not a sprint.

(If you need ideas on how to entertain younger children while working more in-depth with older ones, check out this post.)

6. School and real life can flow together.

Here is an example of what I mean by school and real life flowing together:

You go through your morning routine and get the children started on some independent work. Now you go and throw a load of laundry into the washing machine. When you get back, you listen to one child read or recite while you nurse the baby. The baby goes down for a nap, and you put that load of laundry in the dryer. You return to do math lessons with the younger children. Everyone takes a break for outside play, snack, or chores. Back to school work and you’re reading a history lesson together. School and the rest of the day are intertwined, reducing stress and making it easier to accomplish the things that need to be done.

7. Support from other homeschooling moms is vital.

When I first started homeschooling, I thought I was going it pretty much alone. Then I went to my first homeschool moms meeting. The hostess had all of us bring a snack, and we sat around munching and talking for hours! I realized I needed a sounding board (and to be one myself) for all that a homeschool mom experiences. How refreshing to hear, “Oh! You had that kind of day, too?!” or “Ah, so we are not the only ones who struggle with ______.” Everyone needs a community of like-minded humans. This is vital to a homeschooler!

8. What other people think doesn’t matter.

I worried that others would think I was weird or that I was trying to shelter my children too much.

Guess what I learned to say?

So what.

My real friends may have some questions for me, especially if they did not fully understand what it means to homeschool. But they would never judge or condemn me for it. Anyone who did wasn’t a true friend.

I decided to do what was right for my family, and ignore the doubters.

I’m so glad I did.

9. Delegating will save your sanity.

You simply can not do it all– homeschooling, cleaning the house, laundry, grocery shopping, etc– then feel badly when it doesn’t all get finished.

You must delegate to someone, starting with your own family.

This is what worked for us. It will probably look differently for your family, but I wanted to show you an example:

• My husband taught some classes after work (subjects he enjoyed– for him it was art and Bible classes). This took some of the pressure from me and gave him more time with the kids. It also helped him feel more connected to and involved in the homeschooling process.
• I involved my children in housework by giving them chores. The earlier this starts, the better! The purpose of chores is much more than simply having some help around the house. Studies by multiple researchers have shown that involving children in the work of the household contributes positively to their growth and development. It’s a win/win for everyone.
• These days, you can do grocery pickups (what a lifesaver!). Sometimes, I order groceries and have my husband stop by and pick them up on his way home. When I was homeschooling, this was not yet an option in our area, but would have been an additional time-saver!
• If you can afford it, get some cleaning and organizing help from a local high school student. Just a couple hours a month could help you feel more on top of things, and help a young person who is trying to earn some money.

10. Homeschooling can change your family’s life for the better.

I didn’t know when I started homeschooling how it would change our life. We went from being rushed every morning and dropping kids off in different places to being together in a way that unified our family. We worked together, played together, learned together. My girls developed close relationships with both parents and each other because of our decision to homeschool. Homeschooling was a huge sacrifice– of time, finances, and my own other interests.

It was so worth it, and I would do it again.

— Kim

What about you? Were you homeschooled, or do you plan to homeschool? Please leave your thoughts in the comments below– I’d love to hear them!

For more on getting started homeschooling, check out my friend Tricia’s book, Help! I’m Homeschooling and her website. Both are valuable resources!

The post Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Started Homeschooling appeared first on Sweet Cottage Life.

“Mo-o-mmy!” “Mo-o-o-mmy!!”

The preschooler(s) got bored.

Does this sound familiar? Frustrating? Never ending? Keeping little ones busy while homeschooling is a constant reality!

Top Ten Tips to Keep Your Little Ones Busy

Homeschooling with multiple children is always a challenge. When you also have those who are not yet school age, it can be even more so. The key is to have the solution already in place when the school day starts. All it takes is a little planning ahead.

Here are my Top 10 tips for how to keep your little ones busy while you are homeschooling:

• Keep a set routine from day to day. Children thrive on knowing what to expect. If time schedules stress you out, just have a rhythm… do things in the same order each morning after getting up.
• Start the school day all together, either with prayer, a read-aloud, or some memory work all together. After that, you can spend a little time with just the preschoolers while the older ones do some independent work.

Toys keep little ones busy!

• Have toys you pull out for your preschoolers only during school time. While the older ones have time with mom, the preschoolers play with those toys. It doesn’t even have to be toys! Some of the things my little ones loved to play with were empty containers, kitchen bowls and tools, etc. (Always make sure the things you choose are safe for the age of the child. Never give a child anything, toy or otherwise, that is not appropriate for their age.)
• Cuddle with them! I remember my little one always wanting me to hold her while I was teaching the older ones. Well, why not? It’s home school! We can do that. Letting her climb into my lap was a win/win for all.
• Plan independent work for older children while you care for the needs of younger ones. I tried to feed and change the baby while the older ones did some writing work. This could also be a little break/recess time for the older.
• 

• Have the older kids help out with younger ones. Teaching small lessons to their younger siblings is a review for the older ones. And what a special bond forms between siblings from spending that time together!
• Use preschool nap times to focus on the meatier subjects with older children.

Taking a break from busy– The importance of afternoon quiet time

• But… keep some afternoon quiet time in place for everyone!!! This is key not only for physical rest, but mental and emotional. Quiet times help children process all they have learned that day. They also help foster creativity and the ability to be alone and entertain oneself. For you, Mom, they help you to keep your sanity and be a nicer person throughout the day.
• Learn as much as you can together. Preschoolers can sit and draw the history lesson while you’re teaching it to the older children. Their lessons can be mini-versions of the older children’s.

Relax, Mama!

• Relax and enjoy the process! Homeschooling does not have to be stressful. You are the one in charge, not the curriculum. What a joy it is to be educating your own children. Have fun, don’t take yourself (or the schedule) too seriously, and enjoy being with your children of all ages.

The post How to Keep Your Preschoolers Busy While You Are Homeschooling appeared first on Sweet Cottage Life.